Con-Court jokes flood social media

Harare lawyer Regina Bwanali, who was representing the fifth respondent, Dr Noah Manyika, at the Constitutional Court was at the centre of social media banter after presenting her application to the court.

Although the court ruled against her application, her issue had taken over an hour of the proceedings and – with the nation glued to ZBC and ZTN screens – she attracted the attention of social media graphic artistes.

Her submission was that she agreed with the Nelson Chamisa application but “not in its entirety” and that was deemed as a fresh application against the election results announced by the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (ZEC) which should have been made at most seven days after the results were announced by ZEC.

The fifth respondent’s application took a lot of the court’s time and tested the patience of many viewers worldwide. However, some still saw the funny side of the application and the lawyer’s conduct and started creating Memes.

The most viral joke is one with Bwanali’s image inscribed, “If my girlfriend asks if I’m cheating on her . . . (I’ll respond) Not in its entirety”.

Several other jokes were trending on social media from as early as minutes into the hearing. The following are some of the jokes which went viral, most of which centred on people’s failure to understand legal jargon used by the advocates.

Advocate Thabani Mpofu represented the applicant (Nelson Chamisa of MDC Alliance), Advocate Lewis Uriri was the lead lawyer for First Respondent (President Emmerson Mnangagwa of ZANU PF) and Advocate Tawanda Kanengoni represented ZEC.

“Thabani is saying ”ndakapa mufanha uyu mota yangu akarovera nayo saka i am sure aifamba ari 180km/hr your honor ngaasungwe” judge oti ko wakaudzwa naani kuti aifambira mu 180 wakazviona sei wanga uripo here’ Thabani ‘no ndandisipo but zvinooneka uka analyser ma pwanyikiro akaita mota haa i180km/hr.’ Judge ‘thabani thts subjective you cant prove that, has your younger brother admitted to driving at 180km/hr’ Thabani ‘no he doesnt have to cz mota yakakuvara kana mota yatongokuvara chete hapana hapana i180km/hr ndine systematic answer yekunatsotsanangura izvozvo”

“As duly elected member of this (WhatsApp) group and by virtue of the powers vested in me, according to section 3 subsection 5 of Article A subsection 2 chapter 7a paragraph 9 of Whatsapp and Social media Act of 2012, read together with  constitutional amendment 4 of 2013, section 6 of paragraph 8,  I am allowed to say Good afternoon  to you all”

Gf: Babe I saw some earrings in your car. You’re cheating on me.

Me: the fulcrum, the pith of your allegation is based on secondary residue. Prove your case

“Hanzi “the gist of that contention arises from the founding affidavits if you juxtapose that against volume 3 page 74,what you simply have is a substantiation of the allegation . . . Itai moga Con Court yacho”

“Ko maichemera kuhwa court maiti panenge pachinzi hee nhingi wakabirira uyo oti hee wakanzwa nani hee ndokurova hee fokoro dhemeti . . . Shavi remakuwa ropera nhasi”

“Tinotranslator zviri kutaurwa kuconcort: To Shona $170 per hour; To Ndebele $120 per hour; To simple English $150 per hour”

“After court hearing tave kunyenga mabhebh tichiti, “Dear Respondent, I love You”

“Then she will be like “my lord, I have heard your petition but you should make ref to vol 2 of the law of luv tht gives me tym to think abt it”

Mai Sama ; “According to section 93 of the traditional marriage act subsection 2b….sadza renyu raita my lord”!

Baba Sama ; ” i had already alluded in my affidavit that ndakwara nenzara, thank you my lady”!